Overheard in the kitchen

On Tuesday, Sam and I enjoyed a rare day off together. While we were eating breakfast, he made an astute observation:

"Wow, we're up before noon, we're reading the paper, we've got NPR on the radio. We're like real live people with a house and a mortgage!"

Basement living

One of the many fun things about living in a basement is that I can hear pretty much everything that goes on upstairs. My landlord is currently having a total jamfest by himself. He was grooving to some techno, and I thought that was the worst. But now he's playing Coldplay and it is, in fact, so much worse than the techno was. As the Countess from Real Housewives of New York said - Money Can't Buy You Class. Or taste, apparently.

Jokes

It's come to my attention that my basement apartment has acquired a new odor after our recent flooding incident - there is one corner of our bedroom where some water came in and it smells like mildew. Gross! Plus, like all nerds, I have chronic sinus issues, so I am concerned about this situation not only from a stank perspective, but a health one as well. I took to the interwebs to figure out how best to remedy the sitch... but quickly got distracted, as after typing in 'clean mil,' Google's autocomplete feature offered me 'clean military jokes.'

...what? Clearly this had to be investigated. Screw the mildew. Here, dear readers, for your laffing pleasure, is the latest in clean military jokes:

As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter's
office.

There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle
this new situation. "Oh, come on, quit joking," snickered one. "You didn't really do that, did you?"

"You would never get through basic training," scoffed another.

The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just gazing at him. When she finally spoke, she simply asked, "Do you really plan to make your own bed every morning?"

WHOO BOY. WOWZA. That is one seriously unfunny joke! It's really kind of depressing how not funny it is! I've just noticed the site also offers categories of 'Irish Jokes' and 'Mexican Jokes,' but I don't really feel like cutting myself today so I think I'm just going to go back to my mildew research.