A joke!

My friend T-Bag just told me a great joke. Y'all know how I love a good pun, and he really brought it with this one!

Q: What does a nosey pepper do?
A: Gets jalapeno business!

AW YISS!

A very good joke

I just heard a great joke!

Q: What is the best time to go to the dentist?
A: Tooth hurty.

HA!

Ophelia fact - I love zombies

I enjoy zombies a lot! Even less threatening zombies, like these, are good.

Another small town joke

Except this one's not really a joke. It's more a funny little tale. Mama, Daddy, Rachel and I were visiting Mama's parents in rural north Georgia. Rachel and I were having a blast going through Mama's high school yearbooks, because the vast majority of people in them looked like they crawled out from under the bed on The X-Files - seriously country looking folk. We happened upon one particularly unfortunate looking fellow and collapsed in a fit of giggles. My mother took the yearbook to see about whom we were being total a-holes.

Mama: Oh, that's Gopher!

Me and Rachel: WHAT?! His name is GOPHER?

Mama: No, that's just what we called him.

Granddaddy: He really did look like a Gopher.

Grandmama: No one in that family was very good looking.

Granddaddy: I went to school with Gopher's mother! We called her Rat Jaws.

Now every time we visit we talk about Gopher and Rat Jaws. Family bonding is so special.

A small town joke

I've just remembered a joke that people used to tell in my hometown about a particular father and son pair who never seemed to be employed. Names changed to protect the lazy:

"What's Johnny, Senior do?"

"Nothing."

"Well what's Johnny, Junior do?"

"He works for his dad."

HA!

Fears and laughter

I'm really scared of robots. I feel certain they will take over and kill us all. When you are afraid, it's good to laugh to take your mind off it. So I made up a joke:

Q: Why was six afraid of seven?
A: Because seven was a robot.

Jokes

It's come to my attention that my basement apartment has acquired a new odor after our recent flooding incident - there is one corner of our bedroom where some water came in and it smells like mildew. Gross! Plus, like all nerds, I have chronic sinus issues, so I am concerned about this situation not only from a stank perspective, but a health one as well. I took to the interwebs to figure out how best to remedy the sitch... but quickly got distracted, as after typing in 'clean mil,' Google's autocomplete feature offered me 'clean military jokes.'

...what? Clearly this had to be investigated. Screw the mildew. Here, dear readers, for your laffing pleasure, is the latest in clean military jokes:

As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter's
office.

There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle
this new situation. "Oh, come on, quit joking," snickered one. "You didn't really do that, did you?"

"You would never get through basic training," scoffed another.

The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just gazing at him. When she finally spoke, she simply asked, "Do you really plan to make your own bed every morning?"

WHOO BOY. WOWZA. That is one seriously unfunny joke! It's really kind of depressing how not funny it is! I've just noticed the site also offers categories of 'Irish Jokes' and 'Mexican Jokes,' but I don't really feel like cutting myself today so I think I'm just going to go back to my mildew research.