Dear God! Literally!

Disaster from Southern Ohio, people. A six story tall statue of Jesus has been struck by lightning and burned to bits. The statue stood at the Solid Rock Church north of Cincinnati. I was alerted to this breaking news story by my friend Rachel, who hails from that part of the globe. She shared with me that locals refer to it as the 'Touchdown Jesus.' Let's take a look at why:


Yep, pretty much. This also reminds me of an old country music song my daddy used to sing, which was called "Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through the Goal Posts of Life."

Rest in peace, Touchdown Jesus!

Well, this just arrived in my inbox

And boy, do I have some things to say about it!

First of all, Amazon, stop stalking me. I was JUST bitching about Kindles last night, and then this email shows up? What were you doing, standing outside my house and peeking through my window to see what kind of explainin' Ophelia was up to now? You're a creepy perv, give it a rest.

And then - the perfect gift for dad?! Not MY dad. My dad is a writer, and was a professor of literature for 30 years. I grew up in a house surrounded by books. If I gave him a Kindle, he'd think I was an a-hole - and that's IF he could understand what the thing even was, which is doubtful seeing as he can't even work a cell phone. And then of course there's the price on the lil sucker - nearly $500. You're right, that's the PERFECT GIFT FOR DAD... from his daughter who lives paycheck to paycheck. DIE.

Finally, let's take a look at this testimony from Douglas H in California, who loves his Kindle so much he gave it 5 stars. One of his main reasons for his e-reader adoration is that it is "easier to hold than a book." Congats, Douglas H, you are the laziest son of a biscuit eating bulldog I've come across in a long while!

Kindle, you are a sack of crap. Please stay out of my inbox.

And stop driving independent bookstores out of business while you're at it.