Could be worse

When I was a child, Reading Rainbow was my jam - and James Stevenson's Could Be Worse! was one of my very favorite books from the show.  In it, a grandfather spins a wild tale of misadventures, from an encounter with an abominable snowman to being chased by a blob of preserves, to make his grandchildren feel better about their current problems. On a day when I am feeling down in the dumps and being, I'm sure, insufferably whiny, I thought it prudent to make my own version of ways things COULD BE WORSE!

I could be on an airplane next to a fat dude with no pants:

That would be worse.

I could be employed as an elephant poop collector:

That would be worse.

I could still have my unibrow:

That would be WAY worse.  That thing was awful.

I could be Tyler Clippard.  EMBARASSING!



Oof.

Y'all got any other ways things could be worse?  Share them in the comments, please!

A remarkable resemblance

So Sydney's mother has a dog. He is a Labradoodle and his name is Charlie. Now I have never met Charlie, but I know some facts about him:

1. Charlie is a very good boy.
2. Charlie is a very sweet boy.
3. Charlie is a very handsome boy.
4. Charlie is a very smart boy, and often refuses to go to the bathroom on walks because he is so intelligent he knows that when he goes, the walk will then be over!
5. Charlie bears a striking likeness to one of my all time favorite literary characters:


Sydney figured this out. Sydney is also very smart!

Book recommendations

What are books are you reading these days, folks? I was given a large number of books for the holidays, and I am thrilled to have a fresh, healthy stack of tomes to devour - but those may have to get put on hold so that I can check out some of these great works highlighted in Buzzfeed's recent post 'These 24 Books Have Actually Been Published.'

I am already incomparably awesome, but you might want to check out this one:


Practice makes perfect, yo!

Here's one I think I need to read straightaway - like many twenty-somethings, I've wondered what the next step in my working life might be. My sister gave me some very good advice recently. She said that no one is going to have my career as their top priority but me. I think she is right - and I think I've found just the book to help me cultivate my inner businesswoman:


I'm off to see if Craigslist has any mattresses being put out on the side of the road today I can pick up. The sky's the limit, folks!

Shut down all the book awards, the winner is here

R. Kelly, singer, closet dweller and urine afficionado, has written his autobiography!! And if the title is any indication, it's going to be one brilliant read:


It's being released next week, just in time for the holidays! What a lovely, soulful gift.

Have you seen Harry Potter yet?

I have not, but I am a very big Harry Potter fan and while I can't wait to see the final film, I am also dreading the end of the franchise. Luckily some intrepid souls on Twitter have been playing a little game called #GrownUpHarryPotterBooks. Buzzfeed collected their faves:


HA! The comments had more gems:

Harry Potter Realizes he has Become Uncle Vernon

Harry Potter Gets Excited About his New Septic System

Harry Potter Refinances

Crabbe and Goyle Make More Money than Harry Potter

Harry Potter Needs a Gastroenterologist

Harry Potter Wonders if This is All There Is

Yes, Harry. With the end of your books and movies, this is pretty much all there is.

This one's for the book lovers

Next we have Better Book Titles.

Here's a book I can't stand:


LOLOLOL.

Here's a book I adore:


Still LOLOLOL.

Let's all make our own!!