Here is something that made me lol on the bus

It was 7:30am, and I lol'd, and people stared at me:

That is all.

I got a new job

Rachel: Is The Smithsonian as classy as I imagine?
Me: Probably not. 
Rachel: In my head, there's a plethora of witty and creative mugs, people prefer tea over coffee, and everyone is wearing tweed. 
Me: Well, there IS one of those electric teapots in the break room.

Pro-tip: Make sure you are wearing a fantastic shirt

...just in case you get arrested and have a mugshot photo taken! Syd sent me this hilarious collection of mugshots with truly wonderful shirts in them. Here are but a few:


I like a man who values his wife!


There really is someone out there for everyone.


Not yet, anyway... but the day in jail is young!

It's Fashion Week!

Here is a photo of Nicki Minaj sitting next to Anna Wintour at a fashion show.


It pretty much speaks for itself.

Turns out Turbo is also awesome while awake

Here is our new friend Turbo again, sporting some sunglasses on a walk and just KILLING IT.


Work it, Turbo!

I cannot tell a lie

... I look like a TOTAL BADASS wearing Sam's leather jacket.

Remind me to wear green tomorrow

I was walking to work this morning when I passed a totally normal looking middle aged woman. She was wearing a green t-shirt. The shirt said:

GREEN SHIRTS ARE FOR PIMPS.

I like that woman.

Who wears short shorts?

I WEAR SHORT SHORTS!!!

...but only inside my own home.

The bridal industry is officially bananas

Well. I've just learned something so horrifying and disgusting that I knew I had to share it with my dear readers. Sydney, my best friend and bridesmaid, has alerted me to the fact that there is such a thing as bridal diapers.

I am not making this up.

I am flabbergasted by this. There are women out there who think it is okay to pee their pants in the name if having a gigantic wedding dress. Newsflash, you stupid harpies - IT IS NOT OKAY! If your dress is so big that it requires you to urinate on yourself, then it is TOO LARGE!

I am so freaked out right now.

The Romper

Another poll for my devoted readers! We had our scintillating Kindle convo (no one replied, so the official result is - everyone agrees with me! People with Kindles are a-holes!), and now it's time for another question that's been irking me. Perhaps you've noticed this summer that there is a new trend in ladies fashion - the Romper. You know what I mean... this kind of thing:


On the one hand, I've seen a couple of thin, pretty girls look downright adorable in them. On the other hand, I'm pretty sure no one over the age of 5 should be wearing a freaking romper. So I'm leaning towards the answer that rompers for adults = Not Okay. Your thoughts, my loves?

Amazing Things: No Pants Day

Huge news, people! I've just learned that the first Friday in May is No Pants Day. How about that? Who knew?! One might ask WHY today is No Pants Day, and I would reply with this bon mot from the No Pants Day website:

"When large groups of people parade around in public without their pants, amazing things are bound to happen."



Yep!

Bathing Suit Season Is Almost Here!

I really, really wish bathing suits still looked like this:



Wouldn't that be nice? The woman from whose webpage I got that image, one "Sally Spark" does not think so:

"People are trying to make vintage swimsuits happen this summer. Sure they look cute in photo shoots but you really have to have the right kind of body for it. Also, I really can’t see anyone wearing vintage swimsuits at the beach, get real!"

Shut up, you stupid trollop! Why don't YOU get real!