Unusual Town Name Extravaganza!

It's no secret that I've been neglecting The Blog over the past few weeks.  It's probably a combination of the laziness that comes with the hot summer months, and some general ennui I've been feeling in my life.  Almost a month ago, Pete sent me an article from Yahoo with the results of a poll about the worst town names in America.  I meant to share it with all (seven) of you immediately, but I let it fall by the wayside.  So now I am going to do a full review of these UNUSUAL TOWN NAMES, and try to find some facts about each place!  We'll start with number 10 and work our way up to the grand poobah of lousily named places:

10. Monkey's Eyebrow, KY - A classic unusual town name!  Proving that I'm always on top of my game here at OEIA, I've already written about Monkey's Eyebrow!  You can get all the scoop you need here. 

9. Squabbletown, CA - As is the case with a lot of these, there's not a lot of info about Squabbletown (which, frankly, doesn't seem that bad a name to me, but whatevs).  A Google search yields statements like "Squabbletown is a populated place."  Didn't even make it onto Google Maps.  I'm calling bullshit on this one, Yahoo.  Try again.

8. Loveladies, NJ - This is another totally weak entry.  Loveladies is located on a barrier island off the coast of New Jersey, and is populated with fancy homes where celebrities vacation.  I'm beginning to think Yahoo wouldn't know a quality unusual town name if it bit them on the ass.

7. Roachtown, IL - Now this is more like it!  Roachtown is in western Illinois, quite close to St. Louis... and that's about all I can find.  I can tell you that its elevation is 541 feet and they are currently experiencing light rain.

6. Belchertown, MA - Belchertown is in central Massachusetts, and I have actually been there!  The wonderful pastor Vicki who married me and Sam lives there, and we spent a lovely afternoon there in 2010.  She joked that it was located next to Fartsville.  Gotta love a woman of the cloth who still appreciates toilet humor.  Other B'town facts - it's home to a Little League field called 'Mini Fenway Park,' and it was also the birthplace of Porter Rockwell, who was Joseph Smith's personal bodyguard.  YIKES!

5. Assawoman, MD - This seems to be another screw up, as there's a lagoon called Assawoman Bay in Maryland, but no town known as such, but let's just go with it.  What does it mean? According to the book The Place Names of Maryland: their Origin and Meaning by Hamill Kenny: "Assawoman...The name is Indian and the two opening syllables (assa-) seem to be from either Algonquian acaw- 'across,' or Algonquian asaw- 'brown, yellow.' For technical reasons the rest of the word cannot be satisfactorily solved, and the full meaning of assawoman remains unknown."  The full meaning is a woman with a fantastic ass, Henry.  Get with the program.  

4. Hooker, OK - Hooker is in the middle of the Oklahoma panhandle, and its population is a little under 2,000.  They have a really pathetic website where none of the links work, so let's just assume that everyone in town is a prostitute.  

3. Boring, OR - I love Boring, because they have a sense of humor and are making the effort for some self-promotion!  Their sister city is Dull, Scotland, and their town motto is "Boring, Oregon - An exciting place to live and work!"  Two thumbs up to Boring.  You guys are really working with what you've got.

2. Climax, GA - Oh, God.  What kind of joke am I supposed to make here?  My PARENTS read this blog. Let's just go with the facts - Climax is in Decatur County, GA, has about 300 residents, and is home of the Swine Time Festival!   The event is attended by 35,000 people annually. Contests & events include best dressed pig, corn shucking, hog calling, eating chitterlings, pig racing, syrup making, baby crawling, and the great greased pig chase. Another fact: My brain read "syrup making, baby crawling" as "baby making," because what the hell else is one supposed to do in Climax?

1. Toad Suck, AR - I have to agree that this is a top-notch unusual town name.  According to the article... What does "Toad Suck" mean anyway? Well, the answer is quite simple... Long ago, steamboats traveled the Arkansas River when the water was at the right depth. When it wasn't, the captains and their crew tied up to wait where the Toad Suck Lock and Dam now spans the river. While they waited, they refreshed themselves at the local tavern there, to the dismay of the folks living nearby, who said: "They suck on the bottle 'til they swell up like toads." Hence, the name Toad Suck. 

Well, Yahoo worked up to a big, ah, climax at the end there, but a lot of these entries are just lazy.  I think I can do better.  I'm going to find a truly unusual town name in every state in this great nation, and share them all with YOU (Mama, Pete, Syd, occasionally my sister)!  LOVE YOU, READERS!

Unusual Town Names: Monkeys Eyebrow, KY

This great and very unusual town name is a favorite of my good friend Sydney! She is the one who clued me in to the existence of Monkeys Eyebrow, KY years ago, and I'm thrilled to share it with all of my dear readers now.


Like many of my other oddly named towns, there's not a ton of information about Monkeys Eyebrow. It's an unincorporated community on the western side of Kentucky in Ballard County, and no one seems sure how it got its great name. Some say that a map of the county resembles a monkey's head, and Monkeys Eyebrow is - you guessed it - where the eyebrow would be. Monkeys Eyebrow does have a Wikipedia article, which features this riveting tale of its history:

There were two Monkey's Eyebrows, commonly known as Old Monkey and New Monkey. One was at the top of a small hill, the other at the bottom. There were stores at both locations. Today, there are no stores.

Well that's kind of a bleak ending. Guess you have to go to nearby Possum Trot to do your shopping.

Unusual Town Names: Drab, PA

Pete just emailed me with a town for Unusual Town Names: Drab, PA. Unfortunately, as with several past towns, there's not much info about Drab. As far as I can tell, it seems to be a wide spot in the road in Blair County, PA. Here's what I could find:

Latitude: 40.37139 : Longitude: -78.23722 : Elevation: 1200 ft

Welcome to Drab ...
Please Note: At this time, we have very little information about Drab.

Seems like it lives up to its name!

Unusual Town Names: Panther Burn, MS

Not too terribly far from my hometown lies a tiny Delta hamlet with a most unusual name: Panther Burn, MS.


I wanted to share tons of great facts about Panther Burn with you, my dear dedicated 6 readers, but there are just not very many available. All I got was that it's unincorporated but does have a post office, it is on Highway 61, and it is near the also wonderfully named Nitta Yuma and Rolling Fork. I did stumble across some fascinating non-facts on this conspiracy theories website, in a thread titled 'Does Satan live in Panther Burn, MS?' The consensus seems to be that he does not, as Satan would choose to live somewhere much nicer than Mississippi.

Unusual Town Names: Smackover

Several years back, my sister's boyfriend had to go to Arkansas for work, to a town called Smackover. He brought back Goo a great shirt, but he didn't bring me shit. I was disappointed he didn't take the opportunity to give me something marvelous from Smackover. I think it's cause he dislikes my poetry. Genuis makes some people uncomfortable. BUT I DIGRESS. Smackover, AR is home to some 2,000 souls, with - SWEET LORD - a whopping 91% of families below the poverty line?! Oh wait, that says 9.1%. That is still a lot, but phew! It was 'a rough and tumble oil boom town' and is now home to the Arkansas Museum of Natural Resources. It is the birthplace of American roots musician Sleepy LaBeef, who singlehandedly just started a new feature called Unusual American Roots Musician Names.


Ed. note: This gentleman is neither Goo's boyfriend nor, to my knowledge, Sleepy LaBeef. As far as I can tell he is just your average lover of Smackover.

And that's all I got on Smackover. If anyone goes there, please bring me back a shirt. THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT!

New Feature! Unusual Town Names

I love towns that have unusual names, so what better to do than start blogging about them? Here's one I learned about just today!


It's Dildo, Newfoundland! The Wikipedia article on Dildo is all too brief, and I'm a bit terrified of what the internet will present if I Google 'Dildo', but I was able to learn that the town is home to the Dildo Museum Interpretive Center, hosts Historic Dildo Days each August, and is located on Dildo Bay. If you get tired of Dildo, you can go explore unincorporated community South Dildo, or even take a jaunt over to Dildo Island. Awesome!