Showing posts with label art. Show all posts
Showing posts with label art. Show all posts

Friday, March 16, 2012

GOURD SOURCE: Issue Three

Deeply disappointing: Pete does not like GOURD SOURCE. He says it is not at all what he was looking for, and that he was hoping for more "gourd research." I found this rather annoying, but he is a solid 50% of my readership, and I must give the readers what they want.

Pete: hola
me: what's shakin
Pete: listening to my new favorite band
me: what's that
Pete: http://www.thegourds.com/
me: !!!
Pete: you're tellin' me
i have a dumb question
me: shoot
Pete: do people eat gourds?
me: I DON'T KNOW!!!!
i also have that dumb question!
let's ask google

We got distracted by other things that day - specifially, what Google will autofill when you type in 'do people'* - and this remained unanswered. Let's see what we can find out!

The always reliable Yahoo Answers replies, "Yes you can eat gourds in your garden, however, I prefer to eat them inside my home, preferably in the dining room or dinette area. The last time I ate gourds in the garden I got stung by a bee." We've got a joker here, people! I don't think we can trust his answer.

The suspicious sounding Ping Ming Health states, "Bitter gourd is suitable for those who have heat in their body or during hot seasons. If you have diabetes type 2 and with the symptoms above, bitter gourd is suitable for you to eat." I'm pretty sure everyone who is alive has 'heat in their body.' I don't believe Ping Ming either.

Ask.com, which I was surprised to find still in existence, offers "Gourds are not edible they are used as decorations, I have seen them used as birdhouses, bore a little hole in the fat body part of the gourd and hang it from a tree." Fair enough, but learn how to write a proper sentence, friend.

Finally, we have The Gourdfather! He says no, don't eat your gourds. I trust him because he has an awesome name, his website offers books with titles like A Step by Step Guide to Gourd Crafts, and he makes fantastical gourd art like this:


That's it for this issue of GOURD SOURCE, readers. Remember, don't eat gourds! Instead, make weird things out of them!

*Examples of things Google will autofill in this instance include:
do people live in antarctica
do people get hurt on wipeout
do people still use pagers
do people eat placenta
do people poop when they die

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

It's Be Kind to Lawyers Day!

Readers, today is Be Kind to Lawyers day. Do you have any special lawyers in your life? Two of my fave friends, Ben and Pete, are both in the process of becoming lawyers. I will be extra kind to them today!

In celebration, Buzzfeed has some highlights from a lawyer coloring book. I love coloring! There are several selections from which to choose, but I think this is the one I'll be doing tonight:


I think I'll color it while I watch Teen Mom. Now there's some bitches who need to be kind to lawyers!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Update on the Butter Jesus

The original artist of the Touchdown Jesus, which sadly met its maker (Ed. note - HA!) earlier this week, has very generously offered to design a replacement! Fingers crossed that this statue will suggest some more unusual sports than football - I'm hoping for biathalon Jesus, myself.

Also, here's a shot of the Touchdown Jesus on fire, and I'll be gosh darned if it don't look like the Rapture:


HOLY SMOKES (and thanks to friend A-Woww for that amazing pun)!!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Double take!

Well I'll be gosh-darned! Get a load of this - Van Gogh looks just like Chuck Norris!



People talk all the time about what a badass Chuck Norris is, but he never chopped off his own ear just cause he was sad. Winner in badassery - VAN GOGH ALL THE WAY!!

via totallylookslike.com