Marvelous headline

My delightful friend Bennifer, the very man who suggested I start this here blog, has emailed me an article with one of the better headlines I've seen in some time:

Man Caught Having Sex with Donkey Claimed It Was a Shapeshifting Hooker

More, here.

He hid his kids, he hid his wife...

...but he neglected to hide his weed! Viral video star Antoine Dodson, who educated America about the need to squirrel away your loved ones so as to avoid roving bands of rapists, has been arrested for marijuana posession. He was released in short order, no doubt due to his general fabulosity. Check out this 'do he's sporting in his mugshot!


Fierce! Many thanks to dear friend Ben for the heads up on this breaking news.

It's Be Kind to Lawyers Day!

Readers, today is Be Kind to Lawyers day. Do you have any special lawyers in your life? Two of my fave friends, Ben and Pete, are both in the process of becoming lawyers. I will be extra kind to them today!

In celebration, Buzzfeed has some highlights from a lawyer coloring book. I love coloring! There are several selections from which to choose, but I think this is the one I'll be doing tonight:


I think I'll color it while I watch Teen Mom. Now there's some bitches who need to be kind to lawyers!

Another Halloween costume

Thanks to good friend Ben for sharing this great costume idea! Slap some bread on yourself and go as a hot dog!


Ben, I hope you're already prepping this costume for yourself for next year.

Ophelia's Football Coverage - Week 3!

Well, it was a hell of a football weekend in the Sams-Whittington casa. And by that I mean the Saints lost in overtime after a nail biter of a game, but I couldn't tell you a damn thing about it because it was not broadcast up here in this hellish Yankee wasteland to which I've exiled myself. NOT COOL.

And, predictably, Sam's team managed to totally eff up a game they should have easily won. Rams - 30, Redskins - 16, DC - Tears.

So instead, here is a video my dear friend Ben sent me last week. Thanks, Ben!



See you next week, football fans!

New Feature! Gross Emails from Bennifer

Bennifer is one of the more upstanding gentlemen I've met - except when he's not. Here is an email I just got from him, written in response to me asking how he is doing:

"Im at a hooters, surrounded by hooters. I've never been so happy..."

Gross, Bennifer!

And that's all for this edition of Gross Emails from Bennifer. More to come, I guaran-damn-tee.