Can someone please change Justin Bieber?

He's filled his diaper and needs a new one.

Via.

Jealous of a baby

I've been really trying to step up my weight loss game these past few weeks - sticking to my diet, getting in at least 4 workouts a week, etc.  Mostly it's going well, but OH MY GOD I WANT TO CRAM MY FACE WITH ALL THE CARBS. 

On a related note, there was a toddler next to me on the train this morning who wouldn't stop staring at me, and we had the following exchange:

Me: Hi there!
Him:  I just ate a big big muffin!
Me: F*ck you.

Just kidding!  I said, "Oh yay, you're so lucky," or some garbage.  But in my head I was like F*CK YOU, you stupid little baby who can eat whatever you want and chub actually looks CUTE on you!  

And then I decided I needed to have a little diet break and eat myself some carbs before I actually cursed at a child.

From the files of truly awful commercials

Speaking of public (and ought to be illegal) dumping, have y'all seen this totally horrific Luvs diaper commercial where babies take giant cartoon poops and get rated on them?



IT IS DEPLORABLE.  I may hate it even more than those Charmin commericals, which are a disgrace to both toilet paper and bears.  Luckily I am not the only person who thinks this diaper commercial stinks to high heaven.  From Time magazine:

A Consumerist reader poll officially declared that Luvs Diapers’ “Poop, There It Is” commercial is the Absolute Worst Ad in America.


The ad, which features an animated baby talent show where the judges assign scores based on how much fecal matter each of the three grunting tots can dump into their diapers, earned slightly more than 32% of the vote.

Parents, do not buy these diapers, and if your child is really crapping that much, return it to the store and demand a new model, cause there is something wrong with it. 

Baby in a corgi hat with corgi friend

This is the luckiest baby.


Just FYI, it's my birthday tomorrow in case anyone wants to get me my own corgi hat!

My friend Scott is having a better day than all of us

Why, you ask? Because Scott gets to hug a baby goat.


Yep, he wins today.

This baby and I want the same thing

WOOF, y'all! I just paid my student loan bill for this month. I don't like parting with money unless it's for things like food and wine. Or clothes. Or shoes. Or travel. Or pretty much anything else besides bills. BUT I DIGRESS. I want a lot of money, just like this baby.



Mildly related, Pete and I made up an emoticon once named 'Moneymouth.' He looks like this: :$

Via Videogum.

Palate cleanser

Lousy day? Bad weather? Favorite sex dwarf get eaten by sassy rodent? This video of a baby goat just having a kick ass time will lift your spirits in no time!



Via Videogum's column 'Petting Zoo,' very reliable source for amazing animal posts.

New things - Pros and cons

It's good to try new things. You might be pleasantly surprised if you just apply a bit of courage and forge ahead!



Then again, you might get the bejesus scared out of you, like this poor baby.

For Sydney

Syd and I had a great summer weekend together. Wine on her porch, popcorn and a movie (note: Horrible Bosses sucks, don't bother seeing it), and two trips to our new favorite place - the community pool! It's hard to beat swimming and sunshine with your bestie... even if it does result in a sunburn. As a thank you to her, I present THIS:



YAY SYD AND AMELIA! AND SLOTHS!

Remember to relax

We're all busy. We've all got jobs to do and errands to run. There are those last few thank you notes that you still haven't written for the wedding gifts people so kindly got you. But, it's important to take time out and just relax once in a while.



Treat yourself to some Cheerios and kick back, people. You'll be glad you did.

Via

Babies: Total Jerks?

Once Sydney and I were walking along Newbury Street in Boston, having just gotten pedicures (#girlstuff). I was absolutely starving, and we came upon this youngster who had a whole can of Pringles he was munching on. I tried to catch his eye to see if he would share, but he'd have none of it. "Look at that asshole baby," I said to Syd. "He's taunting me with his Pringles." Then Sydney laughed at me because I called a baby an asshole.

Anyway, the baby in this video reminded me of that baby:



What a little twerp!

Internet continues to give us great birth control

...this time, in the form of news of a GIANT BABY born recently in Boston, MA. This is young Eric, who came into this world weighing in at a whopping 13 pounds and 2 ounces. More like OUCHES, am I right? Can you imagine that coming out of you? Or hell, being in you in the first place. His poor mama.


Screw the birth control. I'll just enter a nunnery. YIKES.

Most disturbing video of the week

DOES THIS ACTUALLY HAPPEN?!?!



Doctor, I'll have all the birth control, please!

Popular names

Sydney has just rocked my world by sending me this link.

Top Baby Names for 2010

Check out the number 44 girl's name, and the corresponding boy's name. MIND = BLOWN!

Stupid cute photo dump

Y'all, I am seriously about to knock your socks off with cuteness. I hope you will bookmark this post and refer back to it when you are having a garbage day and need a pick me up. If these images don't warm your heart, you need to go see your doctor because you have a serious condition called being dead inside.

I took a quiz once about the breed of dog that would best match my personality and lifestyle. The result was a Basset Hound.


YES, PLEASE!

What's that? A puppy is not enough cuteness for you? How about a baby elephant settling down for a nap!


God, I love elephants.

I can see that one baby animal at a time is not cutting it. How about... A PILE OF BABY OTTERS!!


Fine. Fine, people. Here is the cutest photo of the day. It is of two guinea pigs sharing a snack because they love each other and are best friends.



Oh, hell. You've died. I've killed you with cuteness. Now who will read this blog?

Halloween Idea - Slutty Baby

In doubt about what to put your 3-6 month old little gal in for Halloween? How about dressing her up as a slut!


Ugh, put it away, ladies - no one wants to see that! Naturally these costumes are for sale on Etsy, a super great place to find handmade nightmares.

Amazing Things: Baby Sloths

Meet the sloths from Amphibian Avenger on Vimeo.

Frightening Things: Gary Busey has procreated

Yikes! Luckily Gabe from Videogum has some helpful parenting tips for him. I hope Mr. Busey reads them and takes them to heart, because the prospect of him with a child is truly terrifying! Don't kill that baby, Gary!