Sam and his toaster

Sam loves toasted things. I hate toasted things, because they scratch the roof of my mouth and make me fussy - thus, I have never paid much attention to the state of our toaster. I finally noticed it was in a very sad condition several months ago, when Sam and I were registering for wedding gifts. "Oh thank God," he cried. "Can I get a new toaster!?"

Sam's toaster is one he picked up at one thrift store or another many years back. It has two settings: 'Dark' and 'Pop Tarts.'


NOTE - This is not our toaster. Ours is cleaner than that... though not by much.

The Pop Tarts toaster has grown less and less effective over the years - now, it barely toasts things at all, and the lever that keeps the bread inside no longer works. When poor Sam wants some half-assed toast, he has to stand in the corner and hold down the lever manually. "Sam," I will say of a Saturday morning, "can you pour some tea?" "No," he replies mournfully. "I am stuck here toasting this bread."

So, the boy is in sore need of a new toaster, and we have registered for one - but no one is buying it! Toasters are such a boring and cliched wedding gift that no one wants to purchase it. On and on Sam stands in the corner, pushing his kitchen-scarred fingers down on the Pop Tarts toaster and wishing for well-toasted bread...to no avail.