Friday, April 25, 2014

It finally happened.

On Wednesday, April 23, 2014, I made money from my writing for the first time in my life.

I cashed in a savings bond that I received circa 1994 for an essay contest I won in the 6th grade about American inventor Alexander Graham Bell.  It was worth $53.40.

I immediately spent $10.14 of said earnings on an overpriced salad for lunch.  $9.99 of it went later that day towards a bottle of wine that I was too tired to drink, which remains in my fridge.  Today, $4.28 of it bought me a pretty decent sandwich.  Would have been a great sandwich with a little salt.

In a moment, I shall go spend $1.93 of it on a cup of coffee.

Living the high life of an award winning writer over here!

Thursday, April 10, 2014

More Lifetime Movie Reviews with Sam!

The other evening, I came home from dinner with a friend to find Sam on the couch.  He was, of course, watching Lifetime.  As soon as I walked in the door he hollered, "PETALS ON THE WIND, BABY!"

"What the hell is Petals on the Wind?"  I replied.

"The sequel to Flowers in the Attic!"

Flowers in the Attic is a deeply disturbing book about lies, betrayal, religious fervor, child abuse, and incest.  Even more disturbingly, it is a book for young adults.  Lifetime recently did a made for tv movie adaptation of this shudder-inducing novel, and Sam watched it multiple times.  Here, ladies and gentlemen, is Sam's review of Lifetime's Flowers in the Attic:

"One of my favorites!  Terrifying!  Positively Dickensian!

My favorite parts?  Well, you know, the grandmother - she was a fully realized character.  You feel sorry for her.  At the end when she gets locked in the stairwell, she's really HUMAN in that moment.

That girl from Mad Men did a pretty good job.  The brother was a disappointing casting decision.

This was like Sound and the Fury meets Wuthering Heights!  Oh look, it's coming on again tomorrow!"

New Candidate...

...for best amenity detailed in a Craigslist post.


Sign me up, baby!  Man, if I could just combine this apartment where the door bell works with that other one that had both a front AND a back door, I'd really be living the high life.