Wednesday, May 25, 2011

It's Maru's birthday!

Y'all, Maru is 3 years old! That is 21 in cat years, which means he's probably completely tanked, which would really explain all that weird ass hopping into boxes he does. He's just drunk! Anyway, his owner made this delightful compilation video for Maru's many fans:



Tuesday, May 24, 2011

A text message exchange

Sam: Cashion's order - 2 goats. 30 cheese. 20 goose eggs. 3 pork belly. Thank you!
Me: I don't think you want me to order those, do you?
Sam: Oh shit.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Syd brings it: Condiments

Sydney continues to bring it by sending me some of the best the internet has to offer. This time, it's a series about the history of condiments. The mustard article alone is worth the price of admission (i.e. clicking on the link and taking 5 minutes or less to read the article)! Controversially, they suggest that barbeque sauce is not a condiment at all! What are your thoughts, readers?

Don't forget Maury!

I've highlighted before the wonder that is Holy Maury, Mother of God before, but I just want to make sure none of you have forgotten to check it out on the regular. Here is but one recent highlight, a screengrab from an episode titled Did My Husband Cheat with a Teen and Get Her Pregnant? :

The cat just looks so guilty!

Friday, May 20, 2011

A celebrity connection!

So last night was the premiere of The Hangover II. That first movie was a hoot, was it not? I hope the sequel can live up to the promise of its predecessor. It might, cause this time... there's a monkey! And the monkey came to the premiere looking FLY AS HELL:

So glam! Turns out my good friend Leah has an aunt who is a costume designer, and said aunt made this monkey's red carpet dress! I love close encounters with famous people.

Friday at last!

Let's celebrate with a dance.

What are you doing this weekend? I will be watching the Preakness Stakes. Fun Ophelia fact: I once was part-owner of a racehorse. He was, as my friend Paul put it, a "psychotic asshole."


Thursday, May 19, 2011

Best invention since the bottle-sized wine glass

It's the Hands Free Wine Glass!

This is just a genuis creation. You can get tanked and look snazzy, all while leaving your hands free to make dinner, do your job, or even drive the kids to school. This could be you!

I only wish I had thought of this amazing idea.

A new experience

The return of warmer temperatures means the return of street harassment. Hip-hip-hur...ah eff, really? This crap again?! Drives me bonkers. However, this morning I was harassed by two deaf guys. That is not something I ever encountered before! Needless to say, there were a lot of hand gestures involved.

How's about some unadulterated sweetness?

I like to watch John John clips when I need a pick-me-up.

"Count this penny!" Slays me every time.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

I gotta get these wedding write ups off my desk...

So here in one last dump of grooms cakes and Ole Miss themes, are the final highlights from the Mississippi Magazine Bridal Registry issue, each from a different - but ELEGANT! - Mississippi wedding:

The groom's table featured a three-dimensional strawberry cake of a largemouth bass jumping out of a lake and embellished with fondant fishing lures.

The highlight of the evening was the bride's rendition of 'Smile' by Uncle Kracker, sung to her surprised groom.

The groom's cake showcased his love of duck hunting with a chocolate cake layered with shotgun shells. The billiard table, draped in brown linens with a camoflauge runner, featured a duck centerpiece and a chocolate bar.

The couple arrived in a 1938 Packard at a reception hosted by the brides' parents at the Country Club of Jackson. The club was exquisitely decorated... the groom's cake was chocolate with fondant icing in the shape of a golf bag adorned with the Masters logo and Colonel Reb.

Following a honeymoon at Sandals, the couple is at home in Chunky.

Remember to relax

We're all busy. We've all got jobs to do and errands to run. There are those last few thank you notes that you still haven't written for the wedding gifts people so kindly got you. But, it's important to take time out and just relax once in a while.

Treat yourself to some Cheerios and kick back, people. You'll be glad you did.


Monday, May 16, 2011

Thus, with a flop, ends Corgi Day

Corgi Day was so great, wasn't it? We jumped right in and just totally nailed it.

Thank you and good night!

Cleanliness is next to adorableness


Clean and SUPER CUTE!

Turns out Turbo is also awesome while awake

Here is our new friend Turbo again, sporting some sunglasses on a walk and just KILLING IT.

Work it, Turbo!

We should all take a lesson from Turbo

One of the reasons Mondays are awful is because you've just had two days when you can sleep as much as you like, and now you can't sleep whenever you want... OR CAN YOU? Sydney sent me this great video on Friday. Turbo the corgi puppy is setting a great example here - don't let the lack of a bed stop you from getting your snooze on! Just go the hell to sleep in your desk chair, your car, an empty box... wherever you want!

Just commit to it, and have sweet dreams.

It's Corgi Day!

Mondays suck, y'all! Let's make this one suck less by just looking at corgis being adorable all day long. Buzzfeed had a fun post last week about corgi hybrids, which, as you can imagine, are just completely stupid cute. My two faves were:

The Malamorgi

A malamute plus a corgi!

The Corgerrier

A terrier plus a corgi! I think this one would be better called a 'Torgi,' but that's just one woman's opinion.

More corgis to come!

Friday, May 6, 2011

An early morning convo

In the mornings before I leave for work, I like to have chats with Sam while he's mostly asleep. He says some hilarious things during these convos. Here is the one we had this morning:

Sam: When we get a cat can it be a girl cat so it can get pregnant and have little kittens?
Me: Sure.
Sam: Really?
Me: Uh, yeah. Sure. We can do that when we have a backyard.
Sam: Kittens don't go in the backyard!
Me: No, but we'll put the cat out there. That's how we'll get her pregnant.
Sam: Oh, I thought we'd just get some kitty sperm.
Me: I'm gonna go to work now.
Sam: Night!

The end.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Animal with stuffed animals of themselves!

Buzzfeed has a terrific photo roundup today of animals with stuffed animals that look like them! They are just really stellar. Here are two of my faves:

Hamster with many stuffed hamsters!

Kitty with a stuffed kitty that has its own stuffed kitty. MIND IS BLOWN!

More, here.

Anyone have a CSA share?

Vegetables, not Confederates. I'm thinking of joining one for the summer. It would be so nice to have tons of...

Wait, what? Oh no, I don't want that. I shall stick to the grocery store.


Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Celebrate with a dance or two!

This remains one of the best videos I've encountered during my long journey across the interwebs. Enjoy the day, friends!

Monday, May 2, 2011

I just like this photo

So I am sharing it with you.

HA! Take that, birthers! Side note: Birthers are seriously the stupidest and most racist people. Please crawl back under your rock, birthers.

Life is full of obstacles

Some days, doesn't it just seem like the world is trying to throw roadblocks at you right and left? When life hands you lemons, the important thing is to keep accepting the lemons and then jumping up and down:

Of course, we don't know if the doggie made it onto the bed, but I feel certain he attained some degree of success eventually.