News from the steno pool!

Here are some exciting things that have happened in the steno pool today:

1. Had to break out a fresh notebook for my to-do lists. These notebooks are actually called 'steno pads' which pleases me to no end.

2. A man called my boss. His name was Mr. Pancake.

That's it so far, but there's 2 hours left in this fine day!

Whoops, had a brain accident!

HEY Y'ALL! Haven't blogged in a while, because Thanksgiving and Christmas and work and the holidays and soooooooooo busy, and also a couple of weekends ago I was admitted to the hospital cause my brain basically did this:



But luckily after my brain fell on its own face, much like this baby panda, it got back up and has kept on trucking ever since. Deep Ophelia Thought: A seizure is like a literal brain fart. Ha!

Folgers is still airing that awful ad

Remember last year, when I freaked the hell out about Folgers updating their classic 'Peter Comes Home for Christmas' holiday commercial and making it all creepy and horrible and weird? Well, they DID NOT pay any attention to my scathing critique because I've already seen the 'revised' version on tv this holiday season. Please revisit my post from last year, but have a barf bucket on hand. That second commercial is as nasty as a McRib.

Pro-tip: Make sure you are wearing a fantastic shirt

...just in case you get arrested and have a mugshot photo taken! Syd sent me this hilarious collection of mugshots with truly wonderful shirts in them. Here are but a few:


I like a man who values his wife!


There really is someone out there for everyone.


Not yet, anyway... but the day in jail is young!

Allergies

In addition to being EXTREMELY DANGEROUS, all these damn leaves flying all over the place are making me sneeze!



It's annoying, and in some cases - as seen above - rather unnerving.

Hoisted by my own petard!

Well. It goes without saying that at some point, as the author of a blog that derives a great deal of content from videos of people falling down, I was going to fall down myself. And on Thursday night, fall down I did! I slipped on some wet leaves while scurrying across the street, completely lost my balance, fell ass-over-teakettle* and smacked my chin on the sidewalk. It hurt so badly that I thought I'd fractured my jaw, but a trip to the doctor told me my only problem was wounded pride... and a seriously nasty bruise:


I have new empathy for my fellow fallers. I am a fallen woman!

*Phrase copyrighted to P. Chambers, Fall 2003, Soho Square, London.

Shut down all the book awards, the winner is here

R. Kelly, singer, closet dweller and urine afficionado, has written his autobiography!! And if the title is any indication, it's going to be one brilliant read:


It's being released next week, just in time for the holidays! What a lovely, soulful gift.