Wedding photography

I am mildly concerned about my upcoming wedding photos. I can't stand to look at pictures of myself - the older I get, the less photogenic I become. However, as long as they come out looking like this, I won't complain.

I grew up listening to a lot of jazz

Apparently this guy did too!

I'm not sure this is okay

I continue to be concerned about The Biebs, y'all. He went to HOOTERS over the weekend! And not just any Hooters, but the Hooters at the West Edmondton Mall in Alberta, Canada, which strikes me as perhaps a more depressing Hooters than one's average Hooters. He's only 11 years old, y'all. I just don't think it's appropriate for him to be at a restaurant that is all about breasts.


Then again, seeing as he was probably weaned last week, it is likely quite comforting for him to be surrounded by bosoms. Fine, fine. CARRY ON, BIEBS.

Ed. note - Fun Ophelia fact! Hooters and I were born on the same day. It was a really great day.

Moms continue to be the best

Aren't emails and texts from your mother the best? Yes, they are. The people from hilarious blog Postcards from Yo Momma know what I'm talking about. I just got an email forward from my mother, and it contained this gem:

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the ground each morning the devil says, "OH CRAP, SHE'S UP"!

If that's not good advice, I don't know what is.

You know you've hit rock bottom

...when not only are you the subject of the A&E documentary series Intervention, but your episode only gets 2.5 out of 5 stars on Hulu. Ouch!

A Recent Convo

Woman behind the counter at the wine shop: Would you like me to take the price tag off this?
Me: Ma'am, ain't no one but me gonna drink it, and I already know how much it cost.
Woman behind the counter at the wine shop: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Woman behind me in line at the wine shop: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Me (to myself): I'm so alone.

Fun Ophelia Fact

I have a tremendously difficult time telling my right from my left. People always scoff at this and say that one just has to hold up each hand with the thumb and forefinger at perpindicular angles, and the left one will make an L. WRONG. They BOTH make an L. One of them is just a backwards L, which only confuses me further.

I also can't add or subtract things that involve the number 9.