A Recent Convo

Conducted with dear friend Lindy via GChat:

Rachel: how's the week for you thus far
me: hectic and stressful on all fronts
Rachel: I had this really funny movie that played in my head of you talking to someone next week and this is how it goes
Setting: a break room like in the office
Office Dude: Hey Amelia what's up?
Amelia: Oh nothing much Office Dude, how was your weekend.
OD: fine went to a killer bar and got blitzed
you?
A: I GOT MARRIED BITCHES!!!
me: hahahahah
Rachel: and scene
me: can i put this on my blog?
Rachel: yes you can

Speaking of trashy whores...

Sydney and Pete, two of my most alert readers, both sent me this today:

'B****, your pancakes look fine to me': Video of catfight over maple syrup in Denny's goes viral:


Now, this seems like overdoing it to me. My guess is that as they were at Denny's, this probably was not even real maple syrup, but the fake Mrs. Butterworth's type crap. Not worth it, ladies.

A similar situation, but much more understandable, happened much farther south. Hersha Howard of Naples, Florida attacked her roommate Jasmine, because the bitch stole her Thin Mints! Check out how irritated poor Hersha looks:


This is exactly how I would look if someone took my Girl Scout cookies. The violence in this case is totally justified.

A message to this day

...borrowed from poet Nene Leakes of The Real Housewives of Atlanta.


Yes, Thursday, February 17. You're a trashy whore. Go kick rocks. Kick all the rocks.

This is so calming

Just watching it, I feel more serene.



Corgis... corgis will put them to sleeeeeeeep.......

Via

Something magical happened

Last night I was walking home, and something magical happened to me. I was waiting at a red light, lost in stressful thoughts, when I felt something softly brush about my ankles. I looked down, and what was it? It was the floppy ears of a basset hound, gently knocking into me as he enjoyed his evening walk.


Thank you, Mr. Hound, for brightening my day! I immediately texted Syd, even though I'm sure she already knew about the incident - her heart is made of puppies, you see. So she knows this stuff. She just senses it.

Happy Hump Day

We're halfway through the work week, people. Just gotta slog through a couple more days, and then it's a long weekend! Remember, it could be worse - you could be Misery Bear:



Pete sent me this. Naturally.

Watson sucks

So, who else watched Watson the robot compete on Jeopardy last night? I only got through about half of the show before I had to turn it off because his robot voice was annoying the bejesus out of me. And we thought Ken Jennings was a tool! Watson was a total dweeb with zero personality. Oh wait, what? The lights on his avatar change color when he's thinking? NOPE, STILL BORING. I'm not even bothering to watch tonight. Watson will probably win, which will be only the first step in his inevitable takeover.* Eff off, Watson.

*In case I have not made my feelings about robots clear in a prior post, I strongly dislike them and fear a robot takeover will happen in my lifetime. These things are hostile. Trust me.