I love to do lists

This seems as good a list of activities to follow as any! I mean, it's pretty much the average Tuesday afternoon for me anyway.

Via awesome new website The Hairpin.

The danger of judging people harshly

So here I was just sitting and listening to this AV tech guy jabber on his phone and thinking what a DWEEB this dude was. He was reminding me of this horrible man with whom I once shared an office for about a year and who shall remain nameless, and who was just the worst dweeb. This AV dweeb is at least nice and friendly, though. Office dweeb was mean and sexist and rude and also did not seem to bathe on even a semi-regular basis. But anyway, I was wrong to think that AV dude was a dweeb, because I just heard him say:

"It's really unfortunate that Wipeout is not on Hulu."

Turns out AV Dweeb is actually AV Kindred Spirit. High fives to you, fellow fan of things that are awesome!

Some cuteness before I go

I am about to head to the airport with the rest of the steno pool to go to Austin, TX for the National Preservation Conference. Fun Ophelia fact - I nerd out over old thangs! Anyhoodle, posting will be light while I am there, so I wanted to leave you with this ridiculously adorable image I found last night while cleaning out my email. My wonderful friend Whitney sent it to me some time back. I encourage you to grab hold of something before you look at THIS:


HOLY CRAP THAT IS CUTE!!!!!!!! Are you okay? Did you fall out of your chair from the cute? If you hit your head, please don't sue me. I don't have any money. And what I do have, I need for breast implants to properly fill out my wedding dress.

Some advice from the finale of Jersey Shore

I have always thought that Vinny ranks as the most intelligent of the Jersey Shore cast members.


I love being right!

Fears and laughter

I'm really scared of robots. I feel certain they will take over and kill us all. When you are afraid, it's good to laugh to take your mind off it. So I made up a joke:

Q: Why was six afraid of seven?
A: Because seven was a robot.

Helpful Turns of Phrase

I'd like to share with you two sayings that I find really handy to have in my verbal arsenal. Both come, naturally, by way of my mother.

One of my mom's coworkers has a delightful way of classifying women who are wearing skanky or slutty outfits. "That girl," she says, "is either on the pole, or on the stroll." I've been doing my best to spread this system of classifying hos far and wide, and I encourage you to do the same!

The next comment is rather related - my great-grandmother Jack used it to refer to someone whose clothing was too small: "That looks like 10 pounds of ham in a 5 pound bag." Jack herself was a svelte woman, and was a firm believer in clothes that fit properly.

There you have it, friends! I hope you will take these phrases and use them in conversation - your next cocktail party, work meeting, or church potluck are perfect examples of times to do so. I guarantee they will be a huge hit.

The other thing keeping me busy

...is,of course, the wedding. Save the dates are in the mail, a wedding website has been started, and I hired a wedding planner to help me with a lot of the questions of decor, food, wine, and not looking like a tacky a-hole. Luckily, my taste in clothing is impeccable. I've been able to narrow down my dress options to two choices, but I am now at an impasse. Gentle readers, can you please help me decide which of these two gorgeous gowns I should wear at my upcoming marriage to one Mr. Sammy Sue?

Option A:

Option B:

What do you think, folks? Please share your thoughts in the comments. And remember - we're going for tasteful here!