Laughter as medicine = NO JOKE!

I was just sitting here freaking the eff out about this sleep study I have to go do tonight, but then I read Buzzfeed's post about the funniest celeb Tweets of the year, and y'all I just LOL'd so hard and I feel better. Here is the one that really had me rolling:


SO GOOD.

Overheard in the kitchen

On Tuesday, Sam and I enjoyed a rare day off together. While we were eating breakfast, he made an astute observation:

"Wow, we're up before noon, we're reading the paper, we've got NPR on the radio. We're like real live people with a house and a mortgage!"

Old people are great

I just love these two. They are what my mom and dad will be like in 20 years. And, a bit, what they are like now...



Thanks to Leah for this amazing clip!

Neck news

My lovely work colleagues continue to supply quality blog content! This time it's from pal and peer Lindsey, who alerted me to this fascinating Slate slideshow on the widest necks in the NFL. One of the highlights for me was Chiefs team member Kelly Gregg, who clearly has attempted to overcome having a somewhat feminine first name by having the world's manliest neck:


Kelly is something called a 'nose tackle,' but one look tells you he ought to become a neck tackle. Y'all mosey on over to Slate and check out all those wide ass necks!

Best facebook post ever?

Per usual, the very best of the internet has just been delivered to my inbox by my dear friend Sydney. I have been giggling intermittently over this for at least 20 minutes now, and trying to figure out how to share this item with you without exposing the identities of the guilty. Suddenly, like a beacon of light from 1995 (ok, Syd suggested it, duh), came the answer: PAINT! So here, with my strongest efforts at using Microsoft Paint, is the best facebook post ever:


HAHAHAHA OMG what an a-hole! I want to high five this woman for being so awesomely a-holeish. Happy holidays, a-hole! Please never change.

Happy Holidays, with a side of nostalgia tears!

My beloved alma mater, Oberlin College, has created the most delightful holiday video.



Sigh. Anyone else teary at your desk at 2pm? LOVE YOU, OBERLIN!!!

From the neighborhood

My dear friend Leah sent me this Very Good Photo she took in the vicinity of our office just the other day:


For realz, y'all. The driveway needs love too.

I know what Pete's getting for Christmas!

BEEFY!!

Corgi news!

Two small pieces of corgi news for you, dear readers. Buzzfeed has just posted a video of some confused corgi puppies. It is very, very good:



My pal Marla has a corgi (lucky lady!!!!!), and he recently participated in an all-corgi holiday parade! CAN YOU IMAGINE?!?!?!


What a world!

More from our good friend R

We've already discussed the brilliant title of R Kelly's brand new autobiography, Soula Coaster. Over Thanksgiving, I learned from my sister that R has been cranking out genuis wordsmithery for years now. I'd like to share with you some of the remarkably descriptive lyrics from his sensual hit, "In the Kitchen":

girl ur in the kitchen
cookin me a meal
somethin makes me wanna come in there and get a feel...

cuttin up tomatoes
fruits and vegetables and potatoes
girl u look so sexy while ur doin the damn thang

sex in the kitchen
over by the stove
put u on the counter
by the buttered rolls...

Phew, is it hot in here, or is it just me?! Could be cause we're right be the stove, I suppose.

Favorite swears

I've just come to the realization that long swears appear to run in my family! My dad's favorite swear (usually directed at inanimate objects that get in his way) is:

GODDAMNSONOFABITCH.

My favorite swear (usually directed at emails I receive from morons) is:

SHITFUCKHELLDAMN.

What's your favorite swear? Do you like them short and sweet, or do you string together several words for a triple or even quadruple whammy of damnation? Inquiring Ophelias want to know!

You can tell this will be a good day

MR. PANCAKE CALLED AGAIN!!!!


I love you, Mr. Pancake!

HELLO THERE!

My pal Lindsey just sent me this incredible video of a delightful, friendly bear!



I hope Sam is ready to spend the evening watching this 7 seconds of bliss over and over and over!

News from the steno pool!

Here are some exciting things that have happened in the steno pool today:

1. Had to break out a fresh notebook for my to-do lists. These notebooks are actually called 'steno pads' which pleases me to no end.

2. A man called my boss. His name was Mr. Pancake.

That's it so far, but there's 2 hours left in this fine day!

Whoops, had a brain accident!

HEY Y'ALL! Haven't blogged in a while, because Thanksgiving and Christmas and work and the holidays and soooooooooo busy, and also a couple of weekends ago I was admitted to the hospital cause my brain basically did this:



But luckily after my brain fell on its own face, much like this baby panda, it got back up and has kept on trucking ever since. Deep Ophelia Thought: A seizure is like a literal brain fart. Ha!