This is Doug

He is in the running for the title of Britain's Ugliest Dog.


I think he might take this one! I find him right cute, though.

If you get pulled over for not using a turn signal

...don't swallow the bag of cocaine you have in your center console! You will wind up looking like this kid.


This is 18 year old Art Taylor of Massachusetts. Don't be like Art. When transporting your drugs in your motor vehicle, use extreme caution and always employ your turn signals!

Don't get too big for your britches!

I got a haircut today, and had the woman show me how to style my rather unruly curly hair (that's right! I'm 27 years old and I don't know how to do my own hair.), and it looked good! I was really pleased with it, and while walking home took advantage of several reflective surfaces to admire myself. And, like Narcissus before me, this sin of vanity was not without consequences. I was just chatting with a friend about Jersey Shore, and he says that the new castmember Deena looks like me, if I put on 70 pounds and he punched me in the face. Let's see:


Oh dear. I'm not sure I see it, but I shall let this serve as a reminder not to think too highly of myself. On the bright side, the Jersey Shore me gets to hang out with Vinny. JEALOUS!!!

Failure

One of the things I fear in life is failure. On Wednesday of this week, I purchased the dress I am going to wear at my upcoming wedding. Exciting stuff! But in the photos taken at the store, I totally failed at being good looking. What to do? People wanted to see the dress, but I looked like a total garbage person in the face! My brilliant solution was to use Microsoft Paint to draw a bag over my head. I thought it was great. Sadly, a friend pointed out that my bag sucked cause I forgot to put handles on it. She was totally right. Bag fail on top of a face fail?


UGH. Failure all over the place!

Just looked at myself in the mirror

And instantly, I heard this in my head: