The time I got $5!

Last night, Sam and I went to a concert with his mother and stepfather.  The venue was in Northern Virginia, and while the music was enjoyable, the place was PACKED with preppy dude bros from the planet Frat House.  I was in line to get a beer - there were six distinct lines at the bar, everyone was in one of them - and there were two such dude bros behind me.  As I got to the front of the line, Dude Bro 1 stepped right next to me and got served first, basically cutting me in line!  So I CUT HIM with my patented Ophelia Bitchface.  Instead of apologizing or addressing me at all, he turned to his friend and said "What?  What'd I do?" and walked off with his beer.  Dude Bro 2 then handed me $5, saying he was sorry his friend was a jerk and buying me a beer was the least he could do.

And that is the story of the time I got $5 solely by giving someone my side eye/lip snarl combo.

It's baseball time!

HOORAY! It's spring training time at last. It's only a matter of weeks until you will be sitting in the sunshine, sipping a cold beer, and watching your favorite baseball team play America's game. But whatever goes down during the regular season is going to have to work really hard to top 2011's Most Badass Baseball Moment:


This is Brooklyn's Mitch Davie at a Braves-Jays spring training game in Florida, catching a bat that flew into the stands WITH ONE HAND. All those other losers cowered in fear, but Mitch stepped up to the plate - AS IT WERE - and grabbed that bat like it weren't no thang... and didn't even spill his Red Stripe while doing so. Kudos to you, Mitch Davie! You're an American icon.