Well, this just arrived in my inbox

And boy, do I have some things to say about it!

First of all, Amazon, stop stalking me. I was JUST bitching about Kindles last night, and then this email shows up? What were you doing, standing outside my house and peeking through my window to see what kind of explainin' Ophelia was up to now? You're a creepy perv, give it a rest.

And then - the perfect gift for dad?! Not MY dad. My dad is a writer, and was a professor of literature for 30 years. I grew up in a house surrounded by books. If I gave him a Kindle, he'd think I was an a-hole - and that's IF he could understand what the thing even was, which is doubtful seeing as he can't even work a cell phone. And then of course there's the price on the lil sucker - nearly $500. You're right, that's the PERFECT GIFT FOR DAD... from his daughter who lives paycheck to paycheck. DIE.

Finally, let's take a look at this testimony from Douglas H in California, who loves his Kindle so much he gave it 5 stars. One of his main reasons for his e-reader adoration is that it is "easier to hold than a book." Congats, Douglas H, you are the laziest son of a biscuit eating bulldog I've come across in a long while!

Kindle, you are a sack of crap. Please stay out of my inbox.

And stop driving independent bookstores out of business while you're at it.