Mama hates Mannings!

In honor of Mama's birthday, I have created some very special photos for her using that bastion of quality design, Microsoft Paint!

Happy birthday, Mama, and may you have many more years of Manning-hate ahead of you!

It's my Mommy's birthday!

I love my mama to the moon and back, y'all. I miss her every day and I hope to goodness that in the coming years, we'll figure out some way to live closer to one another.

Today is her birthday, and I hope she gets everything her heart desires - starting with a nice drink!



And for Christ's sake, Daddy - take the woman to a petting zoo so she can hang out with a goat!

Hump day treat

...of roast beef and Edwardian manners!

Via Huffington Post

Birthday bash!

My friends and I THREW DOWN on Friday night for my birthday, rapidly-gettin'-old-style! First we went to see a high school dance performance, and then we ate some pizza, and then we went home and went to bed! In all honesty, it was exactly the kind of night I wanted to have - quality time with some of my favorite people, maw stuffed with 'za, a couple of glasses of wine, and a warm bed. I did get a bit nuts by double fisting the cupcakes:


PARTY ON!

Mad Men is back!!

There was a gaping void in my life on Sunday nights after Downton Abbey's second season ended in February... but thank goodness, Mad Men returned last night! And what a return it was, as the fifth season premiere showed us everything from a bean ballet to a Roger sashay. My major takeaway from last night, however, was this:


An astronaut gone, but not forgotten!

It's important to keep in touch

One of my new year's resolutions was to keep in better touch with friends and family, but I am fairly rotten at it. This is not because I don't love you! It is beacuse I am supremely lazy, and also probably because I am selfish. But this is stupid, because it is so easy to make a phone call. I hereby promise to make more phone calls! Expect a call from me soon! I'll be following the lead of this young gentleman, Corbin Fleming. He didn't let the fact that he was in the Oval Office stop him from doing the right thing.


I will also buy new Converse. Corbin's kicks are rad.

Thoughts on March Madness

It's MADNESS to have this much damn basketball on for a whole month, as basketball is boring as hell. AM I RIGHT?!

Much more entertaining is this supercut of basketball mascots falling down.



It's been a long time since we had some quality footage on OEIA of people falling down. Enjoy it!

A remarkable resemblance

So Sydney's mother has a dog. He is a Labradoodle and his name is Charlie. Now I have never met Charlie, but I know some facts about him:

1. Charlie is a very good boy.
2. Charlie is a very sweet boy.
3. Charlie is a very handsome boy.
4. Charlie is a very smart boy, and often refuses to go to the bathroom on walks because he is so intelligent he knows that when he goes, the walk will then be over!
5. Charlie bears a striking likeness to one of my all time favorite literary characters:


Sydney figured this out. Sydney is also very smart!

Happy, happy Friday!

SMILE BIG, Y'ALL!


That is just what I am going to look like tomorrow morning when I wake up and realize I can loll about in bed as long as I want! I am super good at lolling about.

Via Buzzfeed, thanks to Syd for sending!

Restaurant Names

Like most cooks and chefs, Sam of course thinks about what it would be like to open his own restaurant. I've got plenty of ideas of my own as well - after all, likely I'd be involved to some degree, and our finances would be tied up in the place. One of our favorite aspects to discuss is potential names, and we've got some great ones... but none so good as this:


Expect the District of Columbia outpost of WTF soon!

GOURD SOURCE: Issue Four

This is my birthday present from Pete:


I don't know what it is, exactly. I mean, aside from being a gourd.

Y'all will never believe this

In addition to loving everything else, corgis also love birthdays!


I also love birthdays, and I pretty much looked just like that last night at my birthday celebration with my mother-in-law and her new/old boyfriend (that's a tale I must tell you all in a separate post, as it's a good one!).


Corgis love to celebrate with friends! I'm going to do that myself this weekend, and can't wait.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! And to any and all corgis celebrating a birthday today!

Baby in a corgi hat with corgi friend

This is the luckiest baby.


Just FYI, it's my birthday tomorrow in case anyone wants to get me my own corgi hat!

GOURD SOURCE: Issue Three

Deeply disappointing: Pete does not like GOURD SOURCE. He says it is not at all what he was looking for, and that he was hoping for more "gourd research." I found this rather annoying, but he is a solid 50% of my readership, and I must give the readers what they want.

Pete: hola
me: what's shakin
Pete: listening to my new favorite band
me: what's that
Pete: http://www.thegourds.com/
me: !!!
Pete: you're tellin' me
i have a dumb question
me: shoot
Pete: do people eat gourds?
me: I DON'T KNOW!!!!
i also have that dumb question!
let's ask google

We got distracted by other things that day - specifially, what Google will autofill when you type in 'do people'* - and this remained unanswered. Let's see what we can find out!

The always reliable Yahoo Answers replies, "Yes you can eat gourds in your garden, however, I prefer to eat them inside my home, preferably in the dining room or dinette area. The last time I ate gourds in the garden I got stung by a bee." We've got a joker here, people! I don't think we can trust his answer.

The suspicious sounding Ping Ming Health states, "Bitter gourd is suitable for those who have heat in their body or during hot seasons. If you have diabetes type 2 and with the symptoms above, bitter gourd is suitable for you to eat." I'm pretty sure everyone who is alive has 'heat in their body.' I don't believe Ping Ming either.

Ask.com, which I was surprised to find still in existence, offers "Gourds are not edible they are used as decorations, I have seen them used as birdhouses, bore a little hole in the fat body part of the gourd and hang it from a tree." Fair enough, but learn how to write a proper sentence, friend.

Finally, we have The Gourdfather! He says no, don't eat your gourds. I trust him because he has an awesome name, his website offers books with titles like A Step by Step Guide to Gourd Crafts, and he makes fantastical gourd art like this:


That's it for this issue of GOURD SOURCE, readers. Remember, don't eat gourds! Instead, make weird things out of them!

*Examples of things Google will autofill in this instance include:
do people live in antarctica
do people get hurt on wipeout
do people still use pagers
do people eat placenta
do people poop when they die

Missed opportunities

Why didn't they say Happy Beefday?

It's Monday again

I DISAPPROVE.

GOURD SOURCE: Issue Two

Hey y'all! Time for more GOURCE SOURCE! Here is a chat Pete and I had about - you guessed it! - gourds in September of 2011.

Pete: gourds!!!!!!!!
me: yeah!!!!
Pete: YEAH!!!!!!!


me: damn, them's some lumpy ass gourds
Pete: The Gourd Lady


From my Belly Buttons collections.

This lady is sure to bring a chuckle to all that see her. She has a belly button and is proud of it, as you can see.

The Gourd People can be a Doctor, Nurse, Chef, or any profession you choose.

Made from Martin gourds, they will last a life time. Each gourd is completely dried, painted and sealed to protect the paint. The clothing and other parts are made of cotton.

me: wow, you really topped yourself with that one
Pete: i have this image of you, several months from now, in front of a mirror after a long day of dodging detritus and pounding grape, where you look at yourself and think "i have a belly button and am proud of it."
i also like how the gourd people have to have a profession. no unemployed gourds here. clearly, this website wasn't built in the past decade.
Pete: do you think i could find a florist or farmer to deliver a bouquet of gourds?
me: absolutely
you could also make your own
Pete: YOU could also make YOUR own
me: i don't want one
Pete: too bad
me: but lord, there's enough of them outside whole foods
they are fully aware there that it's motherfucking gourd season
i'll send you a photo on my way home
Pete: make it happen

Penguins on a plane!!

OMG, y'all. Can you imagine if you were on a plane and THIS happened?!



I often fear death when on planes, but never once has that fear been of death by cuteness. Wow. That is some next level shit, penguins! Well done!

An email I just received

Subject: GET YOUR IRISH JIG ON THIS ST PATRICKS DAY AT BEEF'S!


Thanks, Pete. It's the like beef that keeps on giving.

Corgi clevage

Is this disturbing, or cute?


Even I am having a difficult time with this one.

Via Best Week Ever

More baby goats!

This one is for my mama, who loves goats, and was sad yesterday because Scott got to hug a goat and she did not. Look, Mama - these little baby goats are wearing sweaters and jumping around on a porch!



YAY GOATS!

My friend Scott is having a better day than all of us

Why, you ask? Because Scott gets to hug a baby goat.


Yep, he wins today.

Overheard on the bus

Wise people take the bus, y'all. The bus is cheaper than the Metro, and is always the same low price no matter when you take it or how far you go. It's much easier to get to know your way around your city if you take the bus, as you'll actually see where you are going instead of being trapped underground. The bus also tends to attract much more interesting passengers than the Metro, in my experience. Folks on the Metro are quiet, absorbed in their Kindles and their papers and just trying to get to work or home without being bothered. But people on the bus are much more lively, ready to interact with the world around them. Just the other day I heard this conversation on the bus...

Woman One, to no one in particular: LOOK AT THAT LADY ON THE CORNER! SHE'S TRYING TO LOOK LIKE AMBER ROSE!


Woman Two, sitting several rows away: Well, it's not working cause she looks like Sisqo.


Rest of the bus: LOLOLOLOLOL.

Love the bus!

Logistics

I mostly love living in an urban area where I do not need a car - it saves me a lot of money, I don't have to drive (I hate driving and am horrible at it - just ask the bevy of mailboxes and side mirrors I've plowed into!), and I never have to worry about parking. But one annoying thing about being carless is that I am always thinking about the issue of how to transport things home, namely groceries. This sweet doggie is also faced with the challenging logistics of carrying home his foodstuffs and getting them into his house:



Via Videogum.

A joke!

My friend T-Bag just told me a great joke. Y'all know how I love a good pun, and he really brought it with this one!

Q: What does a nosey pepper do?
A: Gets jalapeno business!

AW YISS!